Mike Wallace may have an ally when it comes to exposing defrauders of the elderly, and that ally is neurological science.
Remember all those old people who were defrauded by Nigerians? Weren't you laughing at them, beer in hand, with your whole life ahead of you, turning to your buddies saying things like, "Greatest Generation more like Greatest Bunch of Suckers!" Then you'd say this, "When I get old, I'll know better."
Guess what? You won't. When people get old their minds turn to soup. It will happen to all of us. Too bad, Charly Gordon!
Researchers at the University of Iowa, a state just brimming with elderly, discovered that over 40% of seniors have suffered some neurological damage. This causes the oldsters to become as gullible as a mid-eighties TV character from a small Midwestern town or obscure island country.
Apparently, the test subjects who had decision-making problems all suffered damage to their ventromedial prefrontal cortex, affecting their decision-making abilities.
The researchers plan to test regular-aged joes and see how their prefrontal cortexes react when they make good and bad decisions. And one day, a cure for these shenanigans!
A Neurologist can help out with all that brain damage. Find a doctor here.
EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE!
This is a portion of a researcher's transcript that I obtained by putting it in my pocket:
Researcher: You are on a train. A man without a uniform says he is collecting fifty dollars from all the passengers so the train won't run out of gas.
SubjectX: Are we on a train?
Researcher: No. It's a test to see if you're senile.
SubjectX: Why would you make me ride the train to see if I was senile. That's seems rather stupid. You'd be better off in a lab.
Researcher: We are in a lab.
SubjectX: A lab on the train?
Researcher: We're not on a train.
SubjectX: Then why do you need fifty dollars?
Researcher: For gas.
SubjectX: Will you take a check?
Researcher: Yes.
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