JOSH'S CONDITIONS & TREATMENTS BLOG

Dog Shoots Man

On the first day of pheasant season, a dog shot a man. (I got this story off of MSNBC.com. Check out the ad in the middle of the news story.)

The hunter set down his gun in order to climb a fence. His dog stepped on the trigger, shooting the hunter in the calf. The hunter's leg was filled with over 100 pellets. He is expected to make a full recovery.

Even though human is out of season in October, no charges were filed.

This story took place in my home state of Iowa. This is a red-letter day for Iowa. Nothing newsworthy has happened there since 1917, when Governor William Harding prohibited the speaking of foreign languages in public.

If you get shot in the leg by your dog, you should see an emergency medical physician. If you believe that your dog is planning to shoot you, you should see a psychiatrist. If your dog is rabid and you're looking for someone to shoot it, call Tommy Kirk.

More doctors are found here.

People Born without Government Say-So

Despite oodles of red tape, people are being born every day. Nearly 40% of those people haven't registered with their government, and two-thirds of people who expire don't unregister on the way out.

The World Health Organization says that if they can't count the people being born, then they won't know what killed them.

Here are some clues for the WHO:

• Bullet Hole = Gun
• Teeth Marks = Lion
• Old-Looking = Aging
• Some Water on Them =Drowned
• Sword in Belly =Sword in Belly

Then the World Health Organization then said some cryptically-threatening words about unregistered children:

"Children whose births are not registered are less likely to benefit from basic human rights, social, political, civic and economic," the WHO said. "Register or else," they added.

The Bill and Melinda Gates Society is helping Cambodia, Sierra Leone and Syria improve their registration. They are also installing each newborn child with Windows 98. Once registered, they will receive unyielding amounts of information about the latest software and the McAfee anti-virus program. 

If a person wants to learn how he or she died, that person should see a pathologist. If you want to find a doctor to register for an appointment, click here.