According to the New England Journal of Medicine, this one lady had a ten pound hairball removed from her stomach. That lady, the one with the hairball I mean, had complained to doctors about a mysterious illness that had plagued her for five months. These were her symptoms: Swelling abdomen, vomiting, weight loss and urge to drink Pert Plus.
Gastroenterologists poked around inside this lady, medically and found that there was a large bezoar in her stomach. A bezoar is a fancy word for hairball.
This word, "bezoar," helps that lady save some face, I guess. If that woman went around telling everyone that she had ten pounds of hair in her gut, people would think that she was a weirdo. I wouldn't let her sit next to me on the bus. That's for sure. But if the lady says she had a ten-pound bezoar removed, I'd buy her an ice cream sundae with a cherry on top.
Apparently, this woman was a hair-eater. You know the type. The fancy word for hair-eater is trichophage. That word actually makes the condition sound worse. I'd rather hang out (at a distance, though) with a hair-eater than a trichophage.
A trichophage sounds like a type of phantom with a busted face.
When the doctors finally removed the obstruction, it measured 15inches x 7 inches by 7 inches. Anyone want to solve for volume? Within a year, the woman regained some weight and stopped eating her hair. She was completely cured. She went on to live a normal life, although ostracized and ridiculed.
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