Professional wrestling may be fake, but its influence on its teenage fans is definitely real. Teenage fans, aged 16-20, take more health risks then kids who watch that show where all the teenage characters whine for about forty minutes even though they are all attractive and come from opulent families.
In fact, these pro-wrestling fans were more likely be violent, have unprotected sex and smoke. If these "wrasslin" fans increased their viewership, the chances that they'd hurt someone with a weapon would increase by 19%, chances of having an argument would shoot up 16% and the chances of having unprotected sex would increase by 13%.
Apparently, watching a guy get hit on the head with a chair by a man named The Junkyard Dog is an aphrodisiac to some people.
My favorite pro-wrestler is Starman because of his flip-kick attack.
"Wrestling, to me, is a metaphor. Every struggle, whether it be man against man, man against nature or man against his inner demons, is played out in convention centers across the nation. Being hit by a chair from behind is like getting a parking ticket," said one teenage fan. "I watch these shows because I love life, because I know that I am mortal and could die at anytime, I try to live on the edge like my heroes, The Undertaker, Jake "The Snake" Roberts and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. I don't wrestle, go on adventures, test my physical endurance or mental fortitude; I don't grapple opponents in a test of both body and will. I don't boast like the mighty Ulysses, 'that I will lay my hands about you and knock out your teeth like so many boar's tusks' or exercise. Mostly, I watch TV, but that, my friend, is still pretty edgy."
If you get hit in the head with a chair or, possibly, piledriven into a mat, you might want to see an orthopedic surgeon. If you experience violent tendencies after watching wrestling, see a psychiatrist.
