JOSH'S CONDITIONS & TREATMENTS BLOG

Hookahs are Unhealthy, Really.

Hookahs, found mainly in the eastern hemisphere and college dorms, are under scrutiny. Some people smoke tobacco out of hookahs, thinking that it is a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes. Guess what, those people were wrong and probably pretentious to boot.

I can imagine them now with their big pouches of foreign-borne tobacco. They gingerly load their hookah, taking the time to explain the proper loading procedures, the flavors of tobacco and future hookah-related purchases. They dress like professors and have leather patches on their sleeves, but their hair is in a ponytail, because they have an edge. An edge, I tell you.

In my humble opinion, you'd having to be smoking illegal narcotics out of a hookah to think that smoking tobacco in any way, shape or form is safe. That's people for you. Always holding out hope, even if it is for something really stupid.

Well, some researchers actually tested the effects of hookah smoking on college-aged hookah users, probably just to get pretentious hookah fans to shut up, because it's pretty obvious at this day and age that smoking is bad, but those elitist hookahites probably wouldn't shut up.

Really, what happened was that these goofballs with their flapping lips full of flapdoodle made scientists waste time and energy just to get them to change the subject and talk about something interesting, but oh noes! They have started talking about lame conspiracy theories. Thanks scientists, thanks.

Here's the scoop on water pipes:
They bad.

They produce 36 times more lung tar. There was more carbon monoxide exhaled per breath, and long-term use will probably give you cancer.

If you've been sweet-talked by tobacco snobs into smoking out of hookah, you can see a pulmonologist to help you get your lungs straight. All other doctors can be found at this link.

Por Que?....Butter

    An overweight Colorado man had his lungs severely damaged by popcorn, a snack that explodes when cooked. The popcorn, much like the rats during the Great Plague, was only the carrier for the culprit. Diacetyl , a metaphorically flea-like chemical used in artificial buttery topping, was the real problem. Diacetyl is naturally occurring and found in actual dairy products. When heated, the diacetyl turns into vapor which can damage the lungs.

  The Colorado man ate popcorn at least twice a day. When scientists examined his house, they found that diacetyl levels were equivalent to that of a popcorn factory! After he quit eating popcorn, he lost fifty pounds. Diacetyl may not have been the problem.

    This guy clearly ate too much popcorn. Doing too much of anything is bad for you. If you get too much sun,(the source of all life) you can die. Too much oxygen in your lungs can cause scarring.  Whatever happened to moderation?

“The government is not doing anything (about diacetyl),” said Representative Rosa DeLauro, a Connecticut Democrat.

Here is the letter that the government should send:

Dear Citizen,

Stop eating so much popcorn.

Best Wishes,
The Government

Of course, popcorn companies plan on replacing the chemical, probably with something non-naturally occurring, because they don't want to lose customers.

If they take popcorn butter off the market because one guy ate cartoonish amounts, then they should do something about that water everyone keeps drowning in.

If you've stuffed your face with gobs and gobs of microwave popcorn, you may want to see a pulmonologist. If stories like this make you crazy, click here.