JOSH'S CONDITIONS & TREATMENTS BLOG

N00B Teens Pwnd by Internets

According to a very special after-school issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health, bullies use high technology in order to digitally distribute terror.  Science still hasn't invented an e-wedgie or an iSwirlie, but when they do, bullies will be there, lips-a-smackin'.

Electronic aggression usually manifests itself as threatening emails or by the spreading of devastating rumors across social networking websites. One of the rumors is that Courtney Anne Maddox who lives at 427 Mayweather Road in Columbus, Ohio has cooties. I only repeat this rumor because she does have cooties, and they are gross. This is a public service announcement.

This digitized aggression is no laughing matter, however. Many children who are tormented by these techno-bullies are more likely to skip school in order to avoid internet harassment. The tormented teens are also more likely to experience stress.

Electronic Bullying is a crime under the laws of the United States, punishable by a fine and up to two years of imprisonment, but many teachers are not realizing the harmfulness of cyber-bullying.

"In my day," said a teacher. "The bullies would physically attack us. They'd break our bones and destroy our wills and in the process, our self-esteems. These kids today have it so easy. By that, I mean both the bullies and the bullied. I'd take a nasty email in a comfortable chair over the punishments that Bruce Reardon gave me when I was thirteen. He literally shattered my confidence for a decade. Sometimes, at night, I'll see the bushes shake, and I think it's him, that he's back and that he's out to get me."

Teenagers who have experienced malicious attacks via email or instant message may want to see an adolescent psychiatrist.  Teenagers who attack other teenagers via the internet should also see a psychiatrist, but maybe, like, a meaner one.

To find local medical services near you, click here.

Thanksgiving is Stress-Increasing

Some Minneapolitan scientists, who are mostly likely at odds with their parents, have released a study on the stressfulness of Thanksgiving. It is, apparently, very stressful.

Kids coming home from college often clash with their progenitors. The struggle may be the age-old Freudian Oedipal/Elektra complex where the child will compete with their same-sex parent for the love of their opposite-sex parent.  Or it could be the Norman Rockwellian version of perfection that the family feels it needs to achieve that causes all that angst. There is also an epic battle of the wills between the neophyte adults and the geriatrically-teetering parents.

"Judith thought it would be a good idea to get a nose ring the same year Pastor Louis came down from Little Falls. She's such an attractive girl. Why would she do that to her face?" Said one mother. "I could scarcely finish my oyster stew."

According to experts, the best way to avoid the familial struggle without avoiding the family is to have a frank and open discussion about what is expected from both parties prior to the gathering of relations. As with any relationship, communication is the key.  Remember that and Kin-related stress can be a thing of the past.

Stress is a condition that is usually treated by a Psychiatrist. It can lead to a wide-variety of health problems:

• Headache
• High-Blood Pressure
• Sleep Disorders
• Hatred of Mondays
• Weight Gain
• Skin Problems
• Depression
• Anger
• Etc. Ad Nauseum

If the source of stress is unidentifiable, a medical doctor should be consulted. A physical problem may be to blame. Consult an Internist or Family Physician.

To find nearby medical services, click here.