Doctors have been doing some pretty serious thinking about massages. NO! NOT FOR THEM! but for patients who have recently undergone surgery. Apparently, a twenty-minute massage after surgery speeds up recovery by a day. According to reports, the pain relief was equal to one shot of morphine.
Post-surgery massages will become the standard at all VA hospitals and have been standard at the Mayo Clinic for the last five years, way before it was trendy.
Surgeons have been asking for the nation's help in order to spread back-rub awareness.
"Back rubs are very costly," said a head surgeon. "Oftentimes, on Mother's Day, children will give their mother a free back-rub coupon. We are asking mothers to donate those coupons to the hospital and forcing their children to honor the coupons by making them massage a post-operative patient in their mother's stead. It will teach those kids some work ethic and honor. Plus, they deserve it for giving their mother such a cheapy gift."
The back rubs also allayed short-term anxiety. Doctors now plan to test the medicinal effects of the beach and drinks with umbrellas in them.
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