JOSH'S CONDITIONS & TREATMENTS BLOG

Botched Botox

Botox, known for removing wrinkles and all traces of character from a person's face, has caused sixteen deaths this year and scads of lesser injuries. Only one of those deaths has been from the cosmetic procedure, however.

Many problems occurred during a treatment of Cervical Dystonia, a disease that knots up the neck muscles. The Botox gets injected about the throat and neck, usually causing relief for the sufferer but can sometimes paralyze the esophagus, causing swallowing and breathing difficulties.

Botox is a paralytic neurotoxin that can really screw up your moving parts, and once injected into the body, may spread to internal organs or important muscle groups.

Imagine buying a Spider-Man action figure with 12 points of articulation. Let's say that Spider-Man's arm breaks off at the shoulder.  You repair it using crazy glue, but some of that glue drips down into the elbow joint. Now Spider-Man can't move his elbow. I've just drawn an unnecessary parallel to Botox. You are welcome.

Some Danish guys found over 600 Botox-related dangers. The biggest danger is long-term muscle weakness.

"It will make you weak as a kitten," said a Danish scientist, "not even a kitten who works out, but a wimpy kitten that gets picked on by other kittens. All the bully kittens wear leather jackets that have the word "TUFFY" written on the back."

"Winters are long here," he added.

Botox is still a viable medicine that can treat a variety of ailments, but patients need to be warned about its possible side effects.

Cervical Dystonia is treated by  Neurologists. Dermatologists use Botox to treat wrinkles.  Find a doctor near you.

The Source of all Life

The sun, the great and hoary ball of fire in the sky, should no longer be shunned. Although, it still causes burns, cancer and life. The sun provides vitamin D, a vitamin which boosts the immune system.

See Illustration 1:

Norwegian scientists made the discovery deep within the confines of their research-fjords. Vitamin D is critical. It cuts down the risk of lung, breast and prostate cancers, not to mention diabetes, rickets and osteoporosis.

See Illustration 2:

"Still," said a Norwegian. "It is too cold and I am too sad to go outside."

The sun is still dangerous, as it can cause cancer (plus hot), but less cancer will be caused in total if people get their daily recommended amount of sunlight.

Find you local Dermatologist and talk to him about the amount of sun exposure that is right for you. Visit Xoova.com
 

Out Damn Spot!

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If you are anything like me, and you know that you are, then you have lived your life by the tenets laid down by the basketball coach in the movie Teen Wolf. Those rules are:

Never get less than twelve hours of sleep.

Never play cards with a guy who has the first name as a city.

Never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.

       How will those poor women with dagger-laden skin find a mate now?

Well, according to recent studies, tattoo remorse is sweeping the nation as fast as the tattoo fad swept the nation in the nineties. Unless you were some sort of rogue empiricist, you might make a connection.

This tattoo remorse, a specialized form of buyer's remorse, is causing a boom in business for dermatologists.  American mothers have also noted that their I-told-you-so output is up by 35%. Ex-hipsters everywhere are jumping off the tattoo ship because they grew up to be PTA members and anesthesiologists.

The process of tattoo removal is painful. According to one woman interviewed by CNN, the process felt like being continuously stung by bees.  Most people say the removal hurts about ten times worse than the application. Removal is also about ten time more expensive. Bad choices equals big money.

If you've got a tribal tattoo, an anchor on your forearm or one of those hearts with the thorns all over it and you regret it, click here to find a dermatologist near you.

   
   

A Nail-Biting Cure

The Dutch, known for their liberal democracy and a proclivity for living below sea level, may have come up with the cure for compulsive nail biting. The gadget, a guard that fits over the teeth, makes it impossible to bite nails. Eventually, after many failed attempts, the biter is subconsciously trained not to chomp at his fingertips.

Nail biting causes no long-term damage. It is, however, unsanitary and can lead to infections or warts in the nail bed. Also, if an onychophage puts an oft-bitten finger into his gob, the chances for cold and flu increase.

The biting of the nails is often a symptom of anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder.  Once the nails are bitten off, the biter is often depressed and ashamed of his ragged digits, causing even further anxiety.

Hair pulling, skin picking, blemish squeezing, cheek biting and nail chewing all fall into the category of body-focused repetitive disorders. It is thought that 5% of the population may suffer from these disorders. Sufferers may hide bald spots, self-inflicted lesions, and worn cuticles from friends and family or simply refuse to go into public.

If a loved one has tattered fingertips and he keeps saying, "Oops. I fell into a patch of Venus Flytraps again," and he is not some sort of botanist, but actually a banker by trade. He might be a nail biter.  (Jeff Foxworthy might have written that joke if he were a dermatologist instead of a humorously-mustached southern man. )

In all seriousness, if you know someone who suffers from a body-focused repetitive disorder, they should see an anxiety specialist for stress and a dermatologist to help repair the damage to the skin, nails or hair. To find a doctor near you click here.