JOSH'S CONDITIONS & TREATMENTS BLOG

Herpetologists Beware!

Tiny pet turtles, unassuming and possibly shy, are lousy with salmonella poisoning.  These fetid reptiles have caused over 100 illness this year, mostly in young children.  The actual number of turtle-related illnesses is thought to be much higher.

Although French Turtle Pox, Turtle Leg and Riding-Turtle Madness were completely wiped out in the 19th Century, small turtles, under four inches, are still considered a menace. The CDC has banned the sale of tiny, beshelled reptiles in the United States and urges people not to buy them even if they are affordable or cute.

Nancy Reagen urges kids to just say no to small turtles.  (note: this may not be true.)

The biggest problem in this epidemic is that people don't even know that they can get salmonella from a turtle. So these kids get sick, recover, then go out and touch more turtles and the cycle begins anew. Nearly, 90% of turtles carry salmonella, fella. And now you know.

Some kids are putting the turtles in their mouths. Maybe their parents should institute a no pets in mouth rule.

If you touch a turtle and get sick go see a doctor, a local doctor. Find one here!

Nonsense:

When I was a kid living on a farm, the neighbor boy, Heinrich, trained a Shetland pony to climb inside of his mouth. He would keep the horse in his mouth for hours at a time, often revealing it to the other children at school. Everyone got a kick out of this even the teacher! At lunch he'd let the horse out so he could eat his meatloaf. One day, during a game of dodge ball in P.E. class, Henreich was hit by a red 4-square ball in stomach, and he swallowed that horse. He didn't get sick or anything. He just wasn't very popular any more. A few years later, he bought a llama and trained it to make prank phone calls, but it just wasn't the same.

 

Salmonella Pie

A batch of Banquet pot pies have been recalled because of their possible connection to an outbreak of salmonella. The outbreak has illified more than 100 people. 

I'd always thought that getting sick after eating a microwavable pot pie is a side effect of eating a microwavable pot pie.

Authorities have warned consumers not eat the turkey or chicken-flavored pot pies. The beef and pork flavors, not being processed from the flesh of fowl, are still all right to eat. 

ConAgra, based in Omaha, Nebraska, is the home of the Banquet pot pie.  The company had this to say: "The company reminds consumers that these products are not ready-to-eat, and must always be thoroughly cooked as instructed on the packages."

Well, duh, ConAgra.  Eating a uncooked pot pie straight from the grocer's freezer would be a feat of immeasurable gastrointestinal fortitude. It would be like eating a football or handful of tundra. 

The questionable pies have the code P-9 printed on the side. ConAgra is offering refunds to consumers. The pies retail for about thirty-nine cents in the Midwest. It's almost twice as much on the coast. It would be more economical to throw your pies in the garbage than to waste all that gas and postage trying to get your $1.56 returned. 

Sometimes, if you complain about food to the company that manufactures it, they will send you a wad of coupons that will one day end up in your junk drawer next to several dried-out highlighters and a key chain that reads, "I have PMS and gun. Did you have something to say?"

Anyways, the effects of salmonella poisoning are diarrhea, fever and cramping.  In severe cases it can cause sepsis and death.  Please, don't die. See a doctor.

You can find one here.

It Is What It Is.

  A California produce company has recalled over eight thousand cases of spinach, the vegetable, because a sample tested positive for the salmonella virus. Spinach, a flowering and usually harmless plant, is considered healthy by most doctors because of its high vitamin A content. The high iron content of the plant is a myth. A misplaced decimal in the 1870’s was to blame. (Sorry, Popeye.)

Last year, spinach, the vegetable, became tainted with E coli. The contamination was caused by cattle waste in irrigation water. That outbreak killed three people and sickened hundreds, but eating spinach, the vegetable, already given a bad rap in the media by former presidents and fussy children, shouldn’t be considered analogous to playing Russian roulette.

This current salmonella outbreak has caused no deaths or illness. It has been more of an inbreak so far. Only a tiny sample of the entire crop has been polluted. Chances are, the produce company caught it, recalled it and warned the public before it can do any real damage. Buyers should, however, beware.

Click here to find a physician with which to talk about spinach consumption and all its possible pitfalls.